Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
