I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
