You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
