So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
