He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
