I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
A+ Viking dick
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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