Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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