so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
