Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
