I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
