fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
