Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
