I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
