I'm gonna have a badass scar
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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