Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
