I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
