My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
