google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
