i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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