so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
