i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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