I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
