If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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