This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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