Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
