My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
did i walk over a car last night?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
