That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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