saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
