I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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