Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
