i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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