I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
