i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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