Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
