Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
