Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize