WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
