Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
