they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
