Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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