I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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