at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
