I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
