Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
