If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
