My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
