It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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