The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This house was built for laser tag.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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