I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Sorry about my life...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
