So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
